In our (if you help someone with a trial for long enough, it becomes your trial too) federal cocaine conspiracy trial, which involves eight kilograms of cocaine in a sealed Barbie dollhouse box in a suitcase at Houston’s Intercontinental Airport, yesterday we learned that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) keeps no record of the suitcases it has opened and inspected unless it finds something. Nor are inspections videotaped.
So when you get one of those slips of paper in your suitcase saying “TSA wuz hear”, TSA has no record that they were ever actually there. That might be some comfort to you.
Of course, if you open your suitcase and find the slip of paper saying “TSA wuz hear” where your Rolex used to be, you might be somewhat discomfited by the fact that TSA has no record of which inspector it was that had his hot little hands inside your suitcase, or even whether your suitcase was in fact inspected. (Do TSA inspectors steal? You bet they do. Lots.)
The good news for TSA inspectors (other than the fact that they don’t have to get by on their meager salaries, since it’s pretty much open season on travelers’ valuables) is, I suppose, that if a plane is blown out of the sky by a bomb that they missed in a suitcase that they inspected, nobody will ever know which inspector missed the bomb.