Look on the Bright Side: This Way You Can Do It on the Clock

Down at the criminal courthouse, the prosecutors are hard at work: updating their résumés. All Harris County Assistant District Attorneys, from the lowliest misdemeanor four to the most entrenched division chief, have been told by the incoming management to do so. (I couldn’t make this stuff up.)

Wow! That’ll be great for morale!

I will be offering my résumé-editing assistance for a fee. Here’s a free sample for my friends in the Office: in the 21st Century it’s important to show an understanding of modern media, so make sure to mention that you are an avid reader of the Life at the Harris County Criminal Justice Center blog. (I made that crack to a prosecutor, who responded, deadpan, “what’s a blog?”)

I will also be sending glowing letters of recommendation for all of the prosecutors. There’s no charge for this service — I want to help. If you’d like me not to send a letter praising you, send me $100 via PayPal. Make it $200, and I’ll send a letter reviling you.

(Napoleon’s Third Rule of Infantry Combat: When your adversary is in the process of destroying himself, do not interfere. So that’s all I have to say about that.)

0 responses to “Look on the Bright Side: This Way You Can Do It on the Clock”

  1. I’m kinda ticked. He’s undercutting the pro. (Yeah, you’re both pro lawyers; I’m a writer, and I can’t afford to do a really good revile at those rates. )

  2. unfortunately, I am afraid the only way to assure retention by Pat Lykos is to brown nose. I don’t know how you work that into a resume though. Thanks Chuckles

  3. Child’s play — it goes into Orientation, as “strong sense of professional loyalty”; follow through in the interview with the appropriate response to “What is your greatest flaw?”

  4. “I’m just too darned loyal. I try to see flaws in my superiors, but I just can’t do it, not even in retrospect.”

  5. I was on the elevator with a couple of young ladies last week when I heard the news. The one who had seen the memo was telling her shocked colleague (who apparently had NOT seen the memo) that they were to be submitted by 12/01. The response – “I don’t know where my resume is and it’s certainly not up to date!”

    I update mine quarterly, though I haven’t needed to for years. If you don’t know where your resume is but you know the information in it is dated, perhaps you’re too comfortable. Or not uncomfortable enough.

Leave a Reply to Joel Rosenberg Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.