Because “Sue” Was Already Taken



The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. The family was eventually able to get a cake from Wal-Mart. Adolph’s little sister, Joycelynn Aryan Nation Campbell, doesn’t see what the fuss is about.

(I wish I could make up material like this.)


0 responses to “Because “Sue” Was Already Taken”

  1. The thoughtlessness of some parents amazes me — like the ones who named the kid so that it would be pronounced, supposedly, “Ah-show-lay”, spelled “Asshole”; or “Ahbesiday” (“Abcde”). And I’ve met Tom Sawyer and Stan Francisco.

  2. I know a woman named Candy Cotton. And of course there is the famous case of Lemonjello and Orangejello.

    But Adolf Hiltler and Aryan Nation? How can even a serious hard-core white supremacist think these names are going to be helpful during his kids’ lives?

  3. Geez. Some parents.
    It reminds me of Freakonomics, by Steven Lewitt and Stephen Dubner, where they tell of another set of questionable parents who named one son Loser, and another son Winner. Well, Loser was successful and Winner was a loser. So there’s hope yet. Maybe little Adolf will grow up to have a life-long calling to obliterate racism and hatred.

    A friend of mine told me that he had a bad father, and for years he felt that he didn’t learn anything from him. But then someone pointed out to him that my friend probably learned a lot from his dad; namely, how important fathers are and how NOT to behave. And my friend is now an exceptional father.

  4. For the longest time, there was a listing for one ENAUDER TITZOFF in the Austin phone book. (You remember phone books, right?)

  5. I didn’t get a cake for my third birthday and my parents told me the same thing – they wouldn’t write “Brian Tannebaum” on the cake. I always thought they were making it up.

  6. The dad’s a dolt. He pushes his hate in the face of his kid and will leave the kid to fend off other’s repulsion and rejection for the rest of his life. 5 will get you 10 the kids changes his name to Bob.

  7. Mwaahahaaa! It’s MY studio and I AM the advocate and there is only one of me, except when I am experiencing multiple personality disorder.

    But I am more than happy to join the Confederacy of Dunces. Is it like a Ship of Fools?

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