Dear FBI:


If you want to be taken seriously, please give your agents some guidance on what is not a professional-looking business card. Whenever a potential client comes to me with something like this …

 …my first thought is, “he’s being scammed by someone pretending to be an FBI agent.”


4 responses to “Dear FBI:”

  1. I recently encountered another federal agent who did not even have business cards. She told me that her agency would not pay for them, and therefore she did not have one for me. This is pathetic. If they are going to be cheap, the least they could do is give their employees an approved template or vendor through which to purchase them. I wouldn’t have believed that card pictured, either. Times are tough indeed!

  2. Well, in addition to the whole C.S.I. T.V. Phenomenon vs. Reality, NOW certainly the “One Witness Rule” will be even harder to qualify prospective jurors on: IE: ” Member’s of the Jury panel, in a hypothetical criminal trial whereby you are an actual juror, before you could be fair, how many of you would LIKE to see presented to you as evidence: 1) A Camera continuously filming the entire alleged incident from beginning to end with 360 degree infrared satellite capability? 2) D.N.A.?; 3) Fingerprints; 4) 4 people/witnesses – with no prior criminal history – filming the entire alleged incident from beginning to end from each corner of the alleged incident with night vision cameras? 5) Contrary to the 5th Amendment protections afforded the defendant – want to (of course be open minded) and hear and even require the defendant to testify? 6) Require the defendant to have a camera filming his/he4r every move from sun-up to sun-down of the date of the alleged incident? AND last 7) Require the Special Agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and or Drug Enforcement Division of the Fe3deral Government to have at least dot matrix perforated floppy business cards?

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